Parenting

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The Right Questions…to Answers We Cannot Comprehend

The other day I was driving with a couple of my kids and my 4-year-old asked me, “How many miles till we get home? What time are we going to be there?”

If she was an adult I would have had no problem answering her questions, but this was a little kid! She was clever enough to ask two questions in a row that dealt with distance and time, but she had no understanding of the particular units of measure so how could I answer her questions?

I could have said that we were about one hundred and fifty miles away, but she has no concept of how long a mile is let alone one hundred and fifty of them. I could have said that we would arrive at approximately 8:24pm but she can’t tell time so she couldn’t use the car’s clock to know the current time in relation to the destination time. Telling her “We’re about 2 hours away” wouldn’t work either because she doesn’t understand hours.

The point is that the exact, true, and in my mind, simplest answer would have been useless to her. I wanted her to understand all the particulars but realizedRead Full Post

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Justice and Mercy: A Unique Teaching Moment With my Kids

Meet “Peter” the Lego Friends character who also happens to be the object of the latest source of contention in the Reed household.

I’m going to try my best to accurately capture a discussion that just transpired minutes before writing this article involving myself, my seven year old and five year old. For the sake of privacy, I will refer to the 7 year old as “Mary” and the 5 year old as “Tina” (I let them pick the names).

There was a conflict over a toy that belonged to Mary, the toy was “Peter” as pictured above. Tina had come along and picked up the toy while Mary had momentarily been distracted and small riot ensued as Mary realized that her toy had been seized without her permission. It just so happens that I had spent the afternoon pondering the principles of justice and mercy, so I declined my initial instinct to barge into the room and fulfill Bill Cosby’s uncomfortably familiar observation that “Parents are not interested in justice — they want QUIET!”

I decided to be interested in justice…and mercy and take this unique time on a Sabbath-day afternoon to try and teach about both.

I gathered them both together and told them thatRead Full Post

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